Take some time out for self-care. In all honesty, you know your spouse better than anyone.

You can tell if they are being truthful or not at this point, and by accepting them at their word, you can move on and work on other issues making your marriage better than ever.

Hi, I’m Jolene, a former atheist now living a sold-out life for Jesus Christ. Contact Me | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer | Terms & Conditions | Copyright Notice | Compensation and Affiliation Affidavit. I just found out about my sigfinicent others affair back in May, but actually put all the pieces together within the last couple of months. Can You Realistically Trust Your Unfaithful Husband Again? So I think the question we must ask ourselves is why does God hate divorce so much? Praise those things about him. When you think about it, as long as both spouses are on board for fixing the marriage, you’re a lot better off doing that than moving on. I spend much time with my family. Is that really respect? Will definitely be sharing. Thank you for this article; I have been struggling with this for the last few months with my husband and I feel there has been a wall put up. Especially not with 2 kids. I don’t want to leave him I really don’t… for many reasons but I have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve ANY of this and I am so tied of being hurt. What are the statistics on repeated promiscuity? You don’t sound very happy with your husband. we have been married for what it would be 10 years this may and together for almost 14 years . Trust that they didn’t mean anything to him. And it will be hard, but show him love too, you both need love to battle that emotional high he felt elsewhere. I wish there was a blueprint to repair a broken relationship. I said I’d wait and as I sat down in the lobby, I saw him walking in, texting and smiling at his screen like an idiot. I joined 2 groups that I go to every week and I enjoy that. No contact.

Sure it will still hurt, but at least you don’t have to go through the whole divorce bs that will drain you even more!

Plus get my FREE guide, 12 Ways of a Godly Wife. He would do nasty things on camera with that woman . Even for us to get to that place is difficult, but prayer and talking to your spouses will break that chain. And, you’re more likely to have a successful marriage after infidelity with your current spouse than you are to have a successful marriage with someone else. Emily I am 6 months in after his confession. I promise you. I want to leave and start over but children make it complicated. He needs to rebuild trust. We have 2 beautiful baby boys…right now im feeling like if i stay, im just doing it for them.. im so torn on what i should do. So here I am, holding my ground and refusing to answer his calls or texts.

I was wondering if I could use this article in our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group monthly newsletter? He is an ASS. I say ladies. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. I’m numb and angry, and I want him to hurt the way he hurt me. I eventually remarried and recently found out he had been having an affair. If you can get back to how your marriage was when it was solid, you can make it work and heal your broken heart. I dont see true remorse.

When you are talking about cheering at your husband and all that 3, 4 and five-stuff, what if you in example think he is wrong? What are you most afraid of if you try to get past your broken heart to make your marriage work? I choose to live and stay married with the disappointments, blessings that comes with it. He won’t communicate with me at all about divorcing me but deep down I don’t want to divorce him. I have just shared your perspectives on how to continue respecting your husband even when he doesn’t deserve it, with a married lady having simalr problem… i think she is convienced and hoping to get positive feedback.

Again, sorry for this devastation you’ve faced. Forgiving seems like an impossible goal for me . That’s how it works. I have seen more than a few signs. In addition I cheated over 25 years ago for 3 months.

I made a huge mistake telling people. I truly from the deepest parts of my heart know that she is my soulmate my one and only love.

He takes his cell phone to the restroom with him and samething happens. Because this has nothing to do with you and more to do with the man he chooses to be. I have no more love for my husband, but decided to stay in the marriage, and instead be grateful that my husband love me deeply even though i hv screwed up. I just found out about my sigfinicent others affair back in May, but actually put all the pieces together within the last couple of months. You can learn more about me and what I believe here. I tell him what a good job he is doing running his team and how creative he is with how he designed the charts for the teams. All that is left is a weak and pale version of what once was, and what it will never be again.

We have been together for 20 years and married for 10, we are also divorced.

I know one has heard it before. We’ve started counseling and are trying to stay together but I honestly don’t know how much I’ll believe him from now on if he was able to lie to me that much. I asked him if he had a chance to delete his texts, and he said he deleted them because he didn’t want me to “get hurt” reading them! When these issues are being worked on, a relationship can feel safer to let the walls down. I love him more now than I ever realized I did, but unfortunately his love for me is gone. Trust for me is hard. I don’t know if what he did is forgivable. A mistake is a one off, not a 6 month full blown affair. I was REALLY angry that even that happened but even angrier when I continued questioning him and days later he admitted they had actually met up in person “just to talk” then a few days after that admitting they HAD actually had sex!! It was nothing fancy, just a movie and some lunch at the mall. I thought marriage would solve all of my problems (loneliness, my need for love, self esteem issues, etc...)  Then I got married. We had sick kids which was a battle for us to handle. Why don’t you try to look for the things about him that you love and respect? Forgot about looking back at potential problems your marriage might have had (no marriage is perfect), rather, focus ahead on what you want your marriage to be, how much better you can make it, and make it that. He is abusive and cruel. I do believe two people can work through infidelity if it is worth it to both to fix the problems. It was long ago, so who knows what happened. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.” —, 4 Ways a Husband Can Unintentionally Break His Wife’s Heart (Marriage Today article), Turn and Run (Our Daily Bread devotional), Heart Hunger (Our Daily Bread devotional), Sinners Like Us (Our Daily Bread devotional). I’ve created this ministry to equip you with practical and biblical guidance so you can have a thriving relationship with God and your man. When he saw me, his face changed and as he greeted me, he put his phone in his pocket. These tips are good, but not enough to know for sure if your husband is lying about cheating on you. Thank you for insight that not understood by many well meaning people. Keep Communication Open – One of the biggest killers of marriages isn’t infidelity, it’s lack of communication. I feel betrayed by his actions, and I really struggle with knowing how to support him in this situation. Absolutely, Jill. Find the time & money.

The pain is so deep it feels irreparable. It’s why God created Eve so Adam would have a companion.

He feels welcomed by this.


Yes he has been an idiot and he is genuinely remorseful of his infidelity and continuously apologizes. I had tears as I read this cause my husband cheated on me & I can’t seem to heal & move on from the hurt & pain he has given me as his wife. As you go through the feelings associated with infidelity, anger, sadness and an absolutely broken heart, it can be hard to imagine ever feeling normal again. I didn’t communicate what I needed when I needed it or be patient when I did and the moment wasn’t right. Reading your comment brought me to tears. I was 100% in for life. I love them reading. Obviously if he didn’t take out the trash you don’t tell him how great he is for not helping out, but when he does help out tell him how you appreciate him.

In fact, he is her supervisor! I have seen more than a few signs. The quick answer is God hates divorce! He got everything back and I got a broken heart it seems really unfair to me . Honestly, infidelity is something that you can recover from. I’ve left him 4 times cuz he can be cold and mean to me but he is a loving husband. There is no special holidays for the secret came out before my birthday, before Christman, there are NO MORE SPECIAL DAYS, all just a huge pile of ass blown away bit by bit in the wind. My whole world has flipped in 24 hrs. I am the cheater, repeatedly be it porn, messaging someone or the 1 affair. Just don’t give in to hopelessness.

Many couples need to learn better ways to communicate and healthy ways to fight fair.

having an affair with a woman we had previously had an arguement over. How much time and effort should one invest before deciding it’s not working?

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